Why other countries hate America.

[tunes]: Currently none, although I desperately wish I were in Toronto right now seeing the brand new Celtic Thunder show that is currently being taped. As it stands, I won't be able to see this until it shows on PBS sometime in spring. It's supposed to be completely completely different.



So, I'm feeling rather snarky and bitter this evening, and I wasn't quite sure what to do with myself until my wonderful friend Sam suggested ranting in here. If anyone else besides Sam actually reads this, you can check out her blog, too. She's my only follower, so she shouldn't be too hard to find! Anyways, after contemplating on what to discuss, I decided on this: (My snarky ass comments will be in parentheses. And in blue.)

"American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists

and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce.... I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes. (If we go by where most liberals and conservatives live, I guess that means we get most of the coasts, including L.A. and NYC, and you guys get stuck with the midwest... I'm beginning to like where you're going with this!)

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.

You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them). (Ooh. Wow. A fat joke. So matureee. I'll take that as long as that means I never have to hear Rush Limbaugh ever again.)

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies,Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .. (Yes! No more Fox News! But I think the homeboys will be going with you. They like guns.)

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find. (If that means I never have to see another fucking Hummer again, I will die happy. Don't come complaining to us when your gas prices skyrocket.)

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World. (I think I'll go with "Heal The World" by Michael Jackson. He had a good idea with that song. And I think Jesus would approve... You Republicans like Jesus, right?)

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name, our flag, and "In God We Trust". (Since when has our history, name, or flag ever offended us? Unless you're talking about how embarrassed we feel when other countries judge us by the way you all act.)

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you Answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall

Law Student and an American"

I don't even know where to begin with this thing. I guess I could start out with the first major thing that jumped out at me. "You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security." Last time I checked, we invaded Iraq on the sole basis that they MAY have had Weapons of Mass Destruction. I won't point out that they didn't. We know that. What I remember was many of our allies didn't agree with us. Britain didn't think it was such a hot idea, but they did end up going along with us. When France refused to help, we bashed them and started calling French Fries "Freedom Fries" in retaliation. It's nice to know we revert to 5-year-old games when we don't get what we want. We shouldn't just protect our allies, we should also LISTEN to them. I might add a lot of our allies are apart of that U.N. that you want to give away. You might find that you lose a lot of your allies to us when we are busy listening and cooperating with them instead of charging off into battles that haven't been carefully considered.

Then there is the health care issue you complain about. I just watched a YouTube video of a Democratic Senator showing how many doctors support the Public Option of health insurance reform. For the life of me I can't find the video, but it showed that 63% of doctors support both private and public insurance options and 10% support just a public option. That makes 73% who are in favor of the Public Option in some form or another. I think if doctors approve of it, it's probably not a half bad idea. It will greatly affect them, too, after all. I won't get into extreme detail about the health care reform because I'd be here awhile and you'd get bored reading it all, but I'm tired of hearing everyone bashing Obama on it. He is the first president with the balls to confront this issue since Theodore Roosevelt, which was almost a century ago. It's a tough issue to deal with and he's trying his best, something that can't be said for the many other presidents both Democratic and Republican who have pushed the issue aside over the years. His plan might not be the perfect solution, but it's better than what we've been doing the past 100 years. At least he's trying. He's not afraid to have people disagree with him, especially this early in his presidency. That takes some real balls. You conservatives should consider growing yourself a pair as well.

Of all the things that piss me off about this guy's statements, the fact that he proudly states the fact that he's Christian, yet proposes so many un-Christian-like ideas. He talks about how health care is a luxury and how us liberals should have to take care of the homeless while they keep all the money. I'm a Catholic, and, last I checked, Jesus wants us to help the poor, not sit by and watch them suffer while we live in comfort. He talks about keeping the "greedy CEO's." If that's not the most un-Christian-like thing I've ever heard I don't know what is. Greed is one of the seven deadly sins and yet he supports it. If being Islamic or Jewish or Socialist makes me a better person, then I might just drop Christianity. Thankfully, that's not how it works. It hurts to see it portrayed so, though, because it only re-inforces the way others see Christians in American society. If you're going to keep the Bibles, I suggest you all give them another read-though, because you seem completely misguided.

Sometimes, I am ashamed to be an American because of the way many other countries view us. This man's ridiculous letter only hurts that world view. Maybe one day we'll finally realize how immature we look... I hope it's soon.

One last thing: Jesus and his followers were socialists. So if you're going to divorce yourself from "American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxist and Obama supporters, et. al," you're divorcing yourself from Jesus. Think about that one.