His bed was empty. I knew it would be, but it hurt seeing that empty bed knowing what it meant.
Last night, we had to put my dog down. It was the hardest decision we ever had to make, and one I ultimately ended up having to make the final decision on. He was 16 years old, and had been a part of our lives for nearly 15. I think it was the right thing to do, but it doesn't make it any harder. I miss him.
It's funny, though, what you can learn about people in a tough situation. I learned that my dad, who was always the first one to complain about Omar's puddles or call him stupid, really did care about him. I didn't expect to see the tears in his eyes that I saw. Then there is my mother, who, unsurprisingly, had to come home from work early because she couldn't teach her students without crying. I think she still feels guilty. She always does. Then there is my younger brother, who didn't even want to be home when this happened, and didn't want to be there. It just proves that he is terrible at dealing with tough situations.
The worst part of the ordeal for me was that last moment I turned back. After he was gone and we were leaving, I decided to look back one more time. Seeing him just lying there -- That was the hardest moment of all. Because, at that moment, he wasn't Omar. He looked like Omar, but he wasn't. That's when my heart broke.
Some day, it'll be better, but it'll take awhile. I miss him so much, and it makes life harder not to have a warm, furry animal to make me feel better.
November 20, 1994 - March 10, 2011
You made that little dash so full in our lives. Say hi to Sammy for us, and I hope all that cats up there love you as much as you love them. May the socks to chew and things to pee on be plentiful.
