Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Winter creeps ever nearer and the sky was turning black when I saw it. It was just a small speck of light flying amongst the darkening clouds, but, at that moment, it was like the unreachable light that the end of an ever-tiring tunnel. As I headed back to my tiny, depressing room, there was no place on earth I would have rather been than up in that plane, flying high above the clouds, where none of my problems and fears and sadness could find me. I want nothing more than to fly far away to a place where no one can find me; to a place where I can be free and happy. I don't want to be afraid to let go anymore. I don't want to hurt anymore. I feel so lost and alone and worthless and I wish I could just step on that plane and let it take me away to a place where I won't feel that anymore; a place where I can lose myself so deeply that I won't feel lost anymore. I want to forget. I want to forget the longing I feel for every single thing in my life that I'm apparently not worthy enough to have. I'm tired of trying to hold myself up when I feel like I'm falling to pieces. So let me fly. Let me fly away and leave myself behind.

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