It's been awhile.
This always happens, though. I start some BIG NEW LIFE EXPERIENCEEE!!1! and I think, "Hey! I'll blog about it so that everyone can experience all the awesomeness I will!" A few months later, I realize my BIG NEW LIFE EXPERIENCEEE!!1! is nowhere near as exciting as the movies and TV make them out to be, so I get bored and stop blogging. It's like finding out Santa isn't real. (Sorry if I ruined it for anyone!)
When you think Santa is real, Christmas is so exciting because, every year, some big jolly guy with a beard and a red suit manages to fly around the world with 8 reindeer to deliver everyone presents. You don't know how he does it, and you don't know how he gets into your house if you don't have a chimney, but you could care less. Santa is leaving you magical presents! Then you get older, and you begin to see the holes, and you eventually figure out he's not real. At first, you think, "That's okay! I still get presents!" You still have lists of things you want for Christmas. But, as the years go by, it just doesn't have the same magic, and when you're old enough to realize how much money your parent(s) spend getting you presents every year, there's hardly any magic left. You only ask for one thing, or the proverbial "I don't know" pops up.
It's the same with blogging, at least for me. First, I'm so excited to blog about EVERY THING EVER that I talk about completely pointless shit based soley on the fact that it's BRAND NEW. Then, I start to realize that the BIG NEW LIFE EXPERIENCEEE!!1! isn't as magical and fantastic as I thought it was going to be. It's actually pretty normal. I still blog, but the glamour of it has worn off. Then, my posts get fewer and fewer. Then, they stop. I usually don't start up again until some other BIG NEW LIFE EXPERIENCEEEE!!1! starts, and it's the same old thing all over again.
I've been blessed and cursed with the ability to be hopeful. All humans have it, but I think it's extra strong in me. I know this, and try to warn myself against it, but there's still that small part of me that can't help but hope and dream about the best possible outcome, even when I know it will never happen. "He probably doesn't like me, but maybe he does!" "You're going to school for a major that probably guarentees you will have no future job and be a poor homeless bum. But, maybe I'll become a famous singer and everyone will hear my songs and everything!" I know which ones will end up happening, but I still hope and hope that maybe that unlikely thing will happen.
This time is different, though. There isn't some BIG NEW LIFE EXPERIENCEEE!!1! that has started me on this again. I don't exactly know what did. An inspiring friend. A need to express myself. A way to get my thoughts out of my head. I don't know. I don't even know what I'm doing with my life right now. Maybe, here, I can kill two birds with one stone and figure out the answer to both those questions.
Or maybe I won't post on here again until some other BIG NEW LIFE EXPERIENCEEE!!1! happens.
Let's find out.
No comments:
Post a Comment