Redo

Can I get a redo?

I just want a button that I can press to restart everything. Forget everything and start anew.

I try to change things. I try to make things different, but, for every step forward I take, I feel like I take 20 steps back. I can't make a difference. I can't change things. I try to make new friends, but I never do. The friends I have I can't let myself connect to. I feel so alone and lost and I don't know how to fix it.

I can't connect. I can pretend to, and I must do a good enough job of it to fool people, because no one seems to notice it. It's funny that I'm not a great actor, but I can pretend so well in real life.

Maybe if I could forget everything, things would change. I wouldn't have the fears I have to hold me back. I wouldn't be so self-conscious. I wouldn't be so pathetic.

So, please, can I have a redo?